| weekend off | 2006/11/09 - 12:26:48 |
Band Camp is off this weekend. I think I might go skydiving, or maybe bungee jumping. Scratch that, with the weather so warm this is a perfect opportunity to try noodling!
raise your hand if you know what noodling is... |
| new leaf | 2006/11/07 - 14:16:09 |
I try not to watch too much TV. Rots the brain, you know. Maybe I just tell myself that because I don't get the chance to watch it very often. Then again, every time I go to a house w/ cable I have a hard time finding anything to watch. On the other hand, evertime I sit there flipping through the channels I don't get up for at least an hour.
So, maybe the problem is that I'm just not very good at watching TV. I don't get enough practice. Just like anything else, if you want to get better at it, you have to be willing to put in some effort.
Well, that settles it. I'm going to have to cancel my gym membership and start using that money to pay for cable. This day marks the beginning of new era. A strict regiment of reality shows, food network, and Miami Inc.
Tiger Woods didn't get to where he is today by just hitting the driving range a couple of hours a week. |
| CAUTION - Automatic door | 2006/11/01 - 10:21:17 |
| At both Wal-Mart and Target they have a warning on their automatic doors that reads "CAUTION - Automatic Door". It's a good thing, because every once and a while I'll be walking around not paying attention and something just gets right out of my way w/o any warning. |
| CAUTION - Automatic door | 2006/11/01 - 10:20:39 |
| At both Wal-Mart and Target they have a warning on their automatic doors that reads "CAUTION - Automatic Door". It's a good thing, because every once and a while I'll just be walking around not paying attention and something just gets right out of my way w/o any warning. |
| Halloween Fun | 2006/10/30 - 10:07:53 |
Tomorrow is Halloween. Most of you look back on Halloween as a night of fun and wonder in their childhood. I remember it as one of loneliness and estrangement... and left-outedness. You see, my mom is one of those religious types and the church that she was going to at the time had her convinced that Halloween was an evil holiday not to be celebrated. This was the same church that kept me from playing from Ninja Turtles in grade school. (It's a wonder that I didn't turn into some loony anti-church activist, but I'll get into that in another blog.) A number of my Halloweens were spent watching movies in the room at the back of our house so that we would stay as far away as possible from the festivities taking place out there in our "evil" neighborhood. I guess we had to stay hidden back there so that Satan couldn't find us because that is, after all the only time that he is out and about, and as we all know he is incapable of getting through locked doors.
Well anyway, I'm a grown up now and I'm going to celebrate Halloween if I want. I'm going to have to dress up as R2-D2 or something so that the people can't see how old I am.
Any ideas on other costumes that will hide my height/age? |
| I can go anywhere | 2006/10/26 - 15:41:17 |
"Butterfly in the sky,
I can fly twice as high.
Take a look,
it's in a book..." |
| BC at BS in OKC | 2006/10/20 - 16:36:05 |
| Just about to leave for Edmond/OKC/the city that ain't too pretty/the City/the capitol/el capitan'/the Capitiniri/the city formerly known as "the Capitol". I can't wait to see all of the sites! There's nothing quite like the feeling you get after you come over that hill and drive down that stretch of highway that looks like a certain piece of the female anatomy that shall go unmentioned, but not ignored. |
| Vote or Die - MTV | 2006/10/17 - 15:08:50 |
Band Camp will be playing a "Rock the Vote" awareness show at the end of this month. I hope that Diddy is there. I was at one of his parties the weekend after the BC/Busey show and he asked if he could "borrow" my shades. I told him he could cause we're boyz' and if someone is your boy you let em' scope your blades. Well anyway, he never gave me back those hater blockers. He probably thinks that I forgot. I mean, we were pretty wasted off all that Crystal but, those were my favorite stunnas.
Diddy, do you have any idea how much strange I've missed out on since you "borrowed" my specs?! |
| New Album Drops! | 2006/10/11 - 14:38:43 |
| Promo Sarah is starting a hot new female group made up of young sultry teachers from her school. They are going to be called "The X-pectations". Look for their debut album "Raising the Bar...among other things" at all local retailers. The name X-pectations is not only a socio-political statement about the Iraq war, but it also follows in the time-honored tradition of play on words groups such as; Toni Tone Tony, Def Leppard, and The ONEders. |
| A-Team | 2006/10/09 - 14:12:22 |
I got to see an episode of "The A-Team" last night. There was a special guest appearance by Mr. Hulk Hogan. That was pretty awesome. Mr. T and the Hulkster got into it with some crooked rich guys at the end of the episode. Of course, this was after the A-Team had cracked the case and found out that these rich guys were up to no good, no good at all.
The fight was set in a sports arena of some kind where they were holding a WWF tournament (the A-Team was on TV before the name was changed to WWE). Hogan saw the bad guys from the ring and he left his match to square off w/ some real villains. Hulk chased the two slime bags into the hallway and it was on. After he got bored with punching them he tossed them into the popcorn stand. The bad guys must have been allergic to popcorn or something because they were out cold. Nothing left to do but wait for the police to come and round em' up. Nice work A-Team! |
| Today onward... | 2006/10/04 - 14:38:26 |
From this day forward I vow never to:
1. Lie to my friends' pets
2. Spread rumors about my friends' cooking
3. Spit in my friends' gardens |
| Business Ventures... | 2006/10/02 - 15:26:59 |
| Sometimes I think about starting my own restaraunt, but then I think "Man Dave, that's a stupid idea." |
| Loud AC | 2006/09/26 - 16:38:36 |
| Sometimes when I get into my car and it's hot outside I turn up the volume on my radio instead of my AC. I don't do it on purpose. I just turn the wrong dial. I'll be halfway home before I realize what happened and by that time my back is already sweaty and I have grown to hate my favorite song because for the past ten minutes I have been thinking "Man, I like Cat Stevens, but does he have to play so stinking loud?" |
| Water Jug | 2006/09/25 - 17:38:00 |
Am I the only one who knows how to change the culligan bottle on the water cooler in the break room?! Geez, it's like every time I walk into that break room the jug needs to be changed. I wish I had the time to just sit in that break room and observe how many people walk in there to fill up their mug only to notice the jug is empty and walk onto the next room w/ a water cooler. Do they realize that it takes just as much energy (maybe more) to walk all the way down the hall to find a jug that doesn't need to be changed?
One day I am going to call in sick to work so that I can hide a camera in the break room and sit in the observation deck to monitor the situation a little closer. When that first person walks out of the break room, I'm going to chase them down the hall and confront them about it. As I'm walking up to them they will probably say something like "Hey Dave, I heard that you were sick. What are you doing here?" and then I'll reply with something like "Well I decided to come in. Did I just see you walk out of the break room? Did you not go in there to get some water? Don't you realize how important it is to stay hydrated throughout the day? You must, you did afterall go in there to get some water. Were you just going to take the last 8 oz out of the jug and leave everyone else to fend for themselves? 'Oh it's fine, I'm the only one who REALLY needs water' you say to yourself as everyone else is left only with an empty culligan jug that seems to taunt them with the condensation that's left on the inside of the jug. I'm afraid that it is YOU, not ME, that is 'sick'."
|
| White Goodman | 2006/09/21 - 11:29:12 |
"Here at Globo Gym we understand that being fat and ugly is a genetic defect, much like baldness or necrophelia..."
"Being unattractive is only your fault if you don't hate yourself enough to change it." |
| Slanky Rock | 2006/09/18 - 17:01:28 |
I heard a new style of music this weekend. I am not sure what the name of the genre is, but I call it "slanky-rock". It's pretty cool. The reason I call it slanky-rock is because when I heard it reminded of Shaggy from Scooby-Doo strolling down the sidewalk in a very 'slanky'/'I don't have anywhere to be' kind of way. The kind of walk that says "Not only do I not have anywhere to be, but even if I did I would still stagger this slow and slankily to the point that everyone else would have to start walking on my time. Yeahhhhh, and if they didn't walk on my time, the drummer... oops, I meant the other guy that is walking with me would have to stop walking just so he could hear... oops, I mean watch the rhythm of my strumming... oops, I meant strolling. yeahhh...."
Man, slanky-rock is cool |
| Autumn Mist, a poetic work- | 2006/09/15 - 09:34:38 |
The smell of fall is in the air
Soon dead leaves will be falling in our hair
Not an ounce of summer left to spare
If you think fall's lame, kiss my derrière
|
| roommates & vandals | 2006/09/13 - 14:57:38 |
On my last blog Chris posted a comment:
"Man, who peed in your Cheerio's?"
Thoughts immediately following:
Ha, that's funny. I wonder if that actually happened once. You know, like when someone says "You really pulled a 'Homer' that time!" it means that you did something without thinking it all the way through. So if you pee in someone's Cheerio's, would it be called 'pulling a Steve', or whatever the guys name is that peed in the first bowl of Cheerio's. Was it actually Cheerio's the first time or the ever popular, more frugal 'Save' brand alternative 'Toasty-O's'? I had a roommate that used to always shop at Aldi. He probably bought those lame wanna'-be Cheerio's a time or two. Man, that guy was so lame. I'm glad I don't live with him anymore. He was always eating my name brand food and then he'd say "Hey dude, you're more than welcome to any of my stuff. Me Casa es Su Casa!" Yeah right, like I want to eat my Tostitos w/ your crappy 'Valley's Best' salsa. Everybody knows that salsa comes from the Southwest region, which is a dessert ecosystem. Salsa does not come from a valley. And while we're on the subject it kind of pisses me off when you use up all of my good salad dressing (Hidden Valley chunky bleu cheese) for your "Elvis' spicy Chicken Chunks".
...man, that's 2 angry blogs in a row. I better find the guy that f**king Steve guy and tell him to stop peeing in my g***amn Cheerio's! |
| American by birth... | 2006/09/11 - 13:05:46 |
I saw a sticker on today that read "American by birth, Harley rider by CHOICE". Anyone who has that sticker on their car, or knows someone else who does might do good to stop reading this blog now.
Ok, now that all of the idiots are out of the blog and it's just us high-brow intellectual types I can continue.
What a stupid sticker. Maybe it bothers me more because today is 9/11. I was driving to work listening to the radio feeling very patriotic and then I pull up to the stop light behind this moron. Do you mean to tell me that out of all the things there are to take pride in when you are an American (ie; NFL, US Military, Budweiser) "Harley rider" is the best thing you can come up with? I realize that Harley Davidson is kind of an American icon, but why not go ahead and make stickers that say something like:
"American by birth, cross-stitcher by CHOICE"
or
"American by birth, blonde by CHOICE"
or
"American by birth, vegetarian by CHOICE"
I want one that reads "American by birth, not a guy that drives a crappy truck and doesn't even own a Harley Davidson but still has a dumb sticker on the back window about one by CHOICE"
|
| complete the phrase! | 2006/09/07 - 12:05:42 |
Miserable, just miserable.
my nose won't stop running (you better go catch it!)
my throat won't stop itching (you better go scratch it!)
my mouth won't stop sneezing (you better go...uh...__________? |
| html 101 | 2006/09/05 - 15:08:38 |
I just recently found out that if you click the "Band Camp" logo, you will be directed back to the homepage. So, for those of you that have been 'surfing' around this site frustrated because you can't get back to where you started, there is an answer. Click the logo! Of course, it's bad marketing for me to direct you to any other page aside from my own, but I am not here for me. I'm here for the people.
|
| Schedules | 2006/08/29 - 15:00:12 |
This bearded guy rode his bike up to the station this morning just to get some bumper stickers. He was waiting at the front door when the receptionist came in, and he waited another 20 min. for me to get there to bring the stickers up front.
On my drive to work I wondered what that guy was going to do with the rest of his day. I mean, when most people go to bed they start to line things out for the next day. "Tomorrow when I get up I have to remember to stop by the bank. Oh yeah, I have to return that movie at lunch. It's gonna' be pretty busy at work tomorrow. I probly won't be able to check my myspace until about 4ish. I wonder if Vince Vaughn accepted me as a friend. That would be awesome. I know that it's probly not the 'real' Vince Vaughn, but I'd still put him on my top 8 anyway. How cool would that be if it was the 'real' Vince Vaughn and we started posting funny comments on each others' pages and stuff. I wonder if he thought I was really funny if he would invite me out to California to hang out with him and Jennifer Anniston. Who knows, maybe it would be like a 'guys night'. Yeah, a 'guys night'. Just me and Vince, and maybe Owen Wilson if he's not busy."
... and off you go into a blissful sleep all snuggled in your bed, with visions of movie stars dancing in your head.
Back to the sticker guy. When he was falling asleep last night he probably said to himself "Alright, first thing tomorrow morning I'm gonna' get up ride to that radio station and get those bumper stickers that I've been meaning to get. Can't put that off any longer."
I'll bet he gets to check his myspace really early. |
| Change in venue | 2006/08/16 - 16:52:31 |
The pot-luck show is going to be held at 'Joe Momma's Pizza' on 61st & hwy169 (just a couple miles from Fishbonz). It is no longer a Pot-Luck dinner, just a Pot-Luck dessert. So, bring your favorite dessert, eat some pizza, drink some beer,and then GO SEE CHRIS AT BONZ!
...if you are wondering what I'm talking about, there is more info on the blog below. l
l
VVV
V |
| Official Band Camp Commemorative Item for Sale! | 2006/08/14 - 14:56:57 |
92 Ford Mustang - Red.
As seen in the Fishbonz parking lot countless times at Band Camp shows.
This is NOT a replica. This is the actual Mustang that I have driven to shows... and that Promo Sarah (among others) has driven me home in afterwards.
I will include: autograph on the dash board, certificate of authenticity, and 1 pair of 'Fancy Promo Dave Shades' with purchase of the car... along with a full tank of unleaded gasoline!
This car is for sale for $1700, but for Band Camp Geeks I am offering an exclusive "Special Geek Price" of $1400!
This offer will not last. Get your Band Campmobile today! |
| f**k Blockbuster... well at least, Georgia | 2006/08/11 - 16:35:21 |
I went to Blockbuster last night to rent the 5th Season DVD of 'Curb Your Enthusiasm'. I went to the counter, they scanned my card, and then there was discrepancy as to whether or not I had returned a couple of Western Movies that shall remain nameless.
These movies had been returned the time before the time that I rented the movies that I had just returned (Team America & Thumbsucker, which was a great independent film if you're in kind of a by-yourself thoughtful mood). The manager, Georgia, an old saggy beast of a woman told me that I must have opted to put off the late charge until this visit. I rebuttled with the argument that I had already returned the movies in question the last time that I was at their lovely establishment. The saggy beast told me that the computer would confirm that I had returned the movies if that were the case 'which it was not' she said (jerk). One of the clerks went looking for the missing movies, and returned with less than promising news. I said "I don't want to be one of those customers, but I really did return them." in a very friendly, non-confrontational tone. "No, you didn't. I remember you post-poning the late charges. I was here." the saggy beast replied.
It is my contention that it is impossible for the saggy beast to recall me post-poning those charges, or any other, for that matter because it simply did not happen. I have never post-poned any charges at Blockbuster, and I certainly would remember if I had done so. I would also like to add that she is very old, and old people do not have very good memories, especially rude old people like the one that "remembers" me.
It is not resolved yet, but this much I promise you. When it is, and it most certainly will be resolved, Georgia the saggy beast will not have any problems remembering whether or not I have returned a movie because from now on I will only return movies to her. And I will not hand them to her in a friendly way. No sir, I will throw the movie at her face and then yell "Remember this!" |
| confession | 2006/08/09 - 10:17:32 |
It has been over 3yrs since I have engaged in any kind of road rage, but yesterday I fell off the wagon. This guy cut me off. Then half a mile later he cut me off again. The air conditioner in my car had just gone out that morning and I was running late for work, so I was in no mood for shenanigans.
Long story short, I managed to get in front of the guy and drove 2 miles out of my way just so that I could drive really slow and hopefully make him late to wherever it was that he was going.
That made me even more late for work, but it was one of those guilty pleasures that one must occasionally give into.
On a separate note: AndyCAmp reunion at Fishbonz on Sat! |
| La Pizza - 4th & Sheridan - mmm, good | 2006/08/07 - 16:41:07 |
We went to a new place for lunch today called 'La Pizza'. The owner, Valentino was a very nice guy. He was in prison for a while, but now he runs a pizzeria.
While we were waiting for our pie (pizza pie that is) Valentino was telling us about being in prison and living in New York. My buddy K.C. tried to keep it real by asking "So dude, how long were you in the pen?". Valentino didn't hear that question, because he is one of those very outgoing people that don't really hear other people talking while he is talking and by then he had moved on from prison to telling us about his diabetes. I think that it's best that we don't know how long, or for that matter, WHY he was in prison anyway. What if he went to prison for trying to poison his friend or something? That would have really ruined the meal and we had already ordered our food. Besides, after you have decided on 'New York' style pizza Taco Bell just doesn't sound as good (sorry Chris). We only have an hour for lunch as it is so we didn't really have time to cancel our order and find a Taco Bell. I can't even think of where one is around 4th & Sheridan.
We had a gift certificate from work. I don't know why we didn't just tell our new friend Valentino that, instead of lying to him about ordering it off of the radio station's website. I think we just wanted him to think that his advertising money had been spent effectively.
During our mostly one-sided conversation Valentino asked us where we worked. We all stared at each other with that look that you get on your face when you realize that you are about to be caught lying to a convicted felon, and then K.C. blurted out "I'm a motivational speaker." Valentino paused, got a serious look on his face and replied "Really?". "Yes", said K.C. quite convincingly (he was a professional actor for a short time). Then Valentino said "I would love to do that. I have a lot of advice I could give kids. I even helped out the TPD with that 'Scared Straight' program. Anything for the kids!" So K.C. said "Sure".
I'm not really sure how we would make it happen, but if we were able to get Valentino a speaking engagement I don't think that the kids get the right message.
"Hey kids, I caused a lot of mischief growing up and eventually, it landed me in jail. But after I got out I got my own pizza place!" |
| Vacation Time | 2006/08/04 - 14:51:35 |
I am by no means a "Bush Basher". As a matter of fact, I tend to lean a little to the right on most issues. However, I gotta' ask. With all that's going on in Iraq, along with Israel and Lebanon, do you really think that now is the best time to go on vacation?
The only reason I bring it up is;
Sarah and I have had some disagreements because she (being a school teacher) is off in the summer, and for me, it's the busiest time of the year. There are only three people in my department, including myself, and I feel bad about leaving them short-handed when I am needed most. So, settling on a date for Sarah and I to go on vacation can be difficult.
All things considered, I guess I should go ahead and put in my time-off request... I mean, I'll just miss a couple remotes. It's not like I'm the leader of the free world, and even if I was, there is a Vice President (along with a whole Cabinet) to cover for me. |
| Bikers Beware | 2006/08/02 - 16:50:44 |
Traffic is no fun. Sitting in traffic with no air-conditioning is less fun. Sitting in traffic with no air conditioning in the Africa heat of August beating down upon you with the fury of a Southern Baptist Preacher is even worse.
But friends, it can get worse even still. That's right. Just imagine sitting in bumper-to-bumper traffic and getting to the front of the line only to find out that the only thing holding you up, along with the mile and a half long line of cars behind you, is some jerk on a bicycle.
Is there anything more obnoxious than those a##holes in their ridiculous little shorts and that stupid phallic helmet riding down the middle of the road holding everybody up because they "have the same 'right' to the road as 'everybody' else". Come on dude.
Okay, we're all very impressed with your $800 bike and your $100 special bike shoes. Now could you get the hell out of everybody's way please?! I mean damn, the sidewalk is only 4 ft to your right...and it runs parallel to the road. Why don't you just ride on the stinking sidewalk!? You can still pretend that you're in a car, and we can all still see you and your cute little hat.
You are such a jerk!
One day I'm going to find out where you work and I'm going to walk in front of you really slow everywhere you go. I am going to walk slow enough to make you late for EVERYTHING!
Oh, I can't wait till you have to go to the bathroom, cause yours truly will beat you to it and just keep you locked out until you pee your stupid biker pants... yeah, and then you'll be fired because you smell like pee... and no one will ever hire you again because, even though it's against labor laws for your former employee to divulge this kind of information he will tell everyone that you apply with "oh yes, Johnson, don't hire him. why not? well, just between you and me, the man smells like pee"
Before you know it you'll find yourself in a pawn shop selling that stupid fancy bike of yours for a measly 50 dollars all because you couldn't ride on the sidewalk like a normal considerate human being.
I hope you're happy... jerk |
| Movie Idea | 2006/07/31 - 17:04:28 |
Jack Sparrow is a struggling artist who lives alone in a studio apartment in downtown Skyscrapersburg. One night as Jack is painting yet another picture of his sole love interest, Elaine Hottsby, he is overcome by the fumes from his acrylic paints (just one more reason to use watercolors) and faints... -fade to black, ambient music-
Our protagonist Jack awakens to find that he has developed superpowers from the paint fumes. What kind of superpowers, you ask? Well, I will tell you;
For one thing, he has the ability to fly. That's not really a big deal because a lot of super-heroes/villains can do that and even the ones that can't have some kind of gadgets to make it happen. Batman even had a guy in a lab coming up with cool toys to help him, so like I said, flying is not really that cool.
His second power is the ability to see in color, because he is an artist.
His third and most impressive power is that his hands turned into paint brushes during his transformation (you know, the part with the ambient music). Each bristle of the brush is an independent appendage (that's a cool rap band name; 'The Independent Appendages') thereby making him very capable of multitasking while fighting crime as well as a big hit with the ladies... hey now! |
| "#1 Fan!" | 2006/07/28 - 11:50:56 |
Yesterday I saw a license plate that read "Dallas Cowboys #1 Fan!".
Now, I am not necessarily what you would call "business-savvy", but I have worked in marketing long enough to know that merchandisers don't usually make just one license plate, t-shirt, key-chain, etc. So, right now, as you're reading this email there are at least 5,000 suckers driving around the tri-state area that have had the wool pulled over there eyes by being led to believe that they are the Dallas Cowboys' "#1 fan". If you really want to have an authentic "#1 Fan" license plate, it should cost $1000 for the "#1" plate, $990, for the "#2", $980 for the "#3", and so on. Even if you got the "#564" plate, that's still pretty good considering how many Cowboy fans there are in the country.
By the way, I don't think that it's right for the Dallas Cowboys to try to build up a fan base by telling all of them that they are the "#1 Fan". That's like that guy, you know - Chad, running for class president that says "Hey buddy, I am having a party at my parents house. Now, I'm only inviting the cool people so don't tell anyone about it. Check ya' later Brian!" Your name is Barrett, and you show up to the party only to find out that the entire school was invited. No one feels special, but they all vote for the guy anyway because they enjoyed the rotel dip.
So guess what Dallas Cowboys (and Chad). I am not your "#1 Fan". You know who I'm the "#1 Fan" of?
-HONESTY. |
| no time for love dr. jones | 2006/07/26 - 10:32:06 |
| I had a good blog idea, but I don't have time to type it. I gotta' poop!... |
| old friends | 2006/07/24 - 13:38:48 |
Last night an old friend of mine told me that lately, I have been a jerk. He said "I mean, its cool. I'm still your friend, you just aren't as laid back as you used to be."
At first first I thought "that's awful, I feel really bad for treating my friends poorly."
... but then I just turned to my friend and said "shut up, your stupid, and I'm busy." |
| Christmas in July | 2006/07/20 - 11:56:13 |
After seeing the video on Chris's blog, I was reminded of one of my own Christmas stories. You see, I was 15 years old, and with my 16th birthday only a couple of months away, getting a car was the only thing on my mind.
I woke up early Dec. 25 1996. My younger brother was hungry as usual and it was time for the traditional pancake breakfast that my mom makes for every holiday. mmm, pancakes. It's common knowledge that nothing goes better with pancakes than a tall glass of ice cold milk (whole milk, not that skim crap that you hipster yogi's like to drink). As luck would have it our family had run out of milk that sunny Christmas morning. My dad asked me to ride along with him to the store to pick up some more milk. Going to the store to get milk is clearly a one-man job, so as a 15 yr old boy, I was certain that the only reason that my dad was getting me out of the house was that my parents needed an opportunity to pull my new car into the driveway.
On the way back home I could picture my mom outside with my brother tying one of those ridiculously large red bows around my mobile Christmas present:
"Mom, I'm cold, and really hungry. Can I go back inside?"
"Dan, you're always hungry. Can't you be as great as your brother? That's why we're giving him a car for Christmas. Now, could you pass me those ridiculously large scissors?"
We got home and, much to my dismay, the driveway was empty. It turns out that my dad just didn't want to get out of the car because it was so cold that morning.
It turned out to be a great Christmas and I got a car a few months later, so all was well.
...now the only thing that I want for Christmas is for Mickie to blog again. |
| Romantic Comedy | 2006/07/17 - 14:16:22 |
You know that scene at the end of the romantic comedy where the guy comes back after a dramatic montage of great reflection only to realize that he was wrong and that he must win the girl back? Inevetably, the girl gives a little smile, a tear of bittersweet happiness rolls slowly down her cheek, and she whimpers some clever little phrase like "You had me at 'hello'...". The music swells (usually an alternative ballad by the Goo Goo Dolls or something) they have the big kiss, cut to a shot of the wacky single friend so that he can give a little comic relief with a witty one-liner, or maybe just a shrug of the shoulders as if to say "the conflict is resolved and I'm very funny, so you can leave the theater now with a light heart and tell all of your friends how great this movie was."
Well, my point is why is it always the guy coming back to the girl? The guy is the liar. The guy is the one that cheats. The guy is the one that let's his undercover police job consume him to the point that he loses track of his identity, thereby jeopardizing his relationship with the one he loves.
Girls lie too you know. One time I saw this movie where a guy fell in love with this girl and she went away on a trip with some friends and came back and told the guy "sorry, I cheated on you with this other guy on that trip that I just went on." The guy got upset and the girl left. The movie ended, not with a Goo Goo Dolls song, but with a shot of the guy sitting by a pond with his dog drinking beer.
well, the guy was drinking beer...not the dog. |
| Yeahhhhh! | 2006/07/14 - 14:19:03 |
Ahhhhhhhhh!
OOOOOOOOhhhhh!
Whhammmy!
Huh? |
| I just want to do my part... | 2006/07/12 - 11:29:03 |
Sure I do a lot of volunteer work for the homeless, oh yeah, and the elderly. But I don't want really like to talk about it very much. I mean, I'm not one of those guys that does things just so he will get praise and adoration from everyone he knows. I'm just about helping people. I can't help it, I just love people.
Just the other day I was at the shelter (that's what all of us regulars call it) and Earl, one of the bums, I mean residentially challenged said "Man Dave, you sure are a great guy always comin' around here feedin' us po' homeless folk. I don't know what we'd ever do withoutcha'. Yessir' you sure are a swell human being."
At least, I think that's what he said. Homeless people are pretty hard to understand sometimes, you know with the slurring and all.
|
| hmm, this tastes like... | 2006/07/10 - 11:54:52 |
Have you ever shared a meal with someone?
Have you ever shared a meal with someone who didn't like the food?
Have you ever shared a meal with someone who didn't like the food, and you did?
Have you ever shared a meal with someone whow didn't like the food, and you did, and then they say something like "this tates like pledge"?
Didn't that kind of ruin the meal for you?
yeah, me too |
| checkmate sucka! | 2006/07/08 - 09:43:39 |
Yesterday I was at a bar and ESPN was on the tv. Did you know that there is a "World Series" of Dominoes? I learned how to play dominoes once when I was younger, but I forgot the rules in about 2 weeks. Apparently the dominoe world just went on without me. It's really a shame. I am not an incredibly athletic person, so if I would have known that one day dominoes was going to be considered a sport I might have put a lot more effort into honing my skillz.
-note: I spelled "skillz" w/ a 'z' because they played dominoes in that Singleton movie "Boyz in tha Hood" and I think that would have been the syle of dominoes for me... you know, all gangsta' like.
-note: I spelled "Boyz..." w/ a 'z' and thought "Hmm, skillz-boyz, coincidence? I think not." |
| credit cards | 2006/07/06 - 09:46:43 |
I just saw an article on MSN. The headline read "Credit Cards for Kids - Is 7 yrs old too young?"
I figure, what the hell? Let's get em' one. They would probably be more responsible than most grown ups. |
| Happy 4th of July! | 2006/06/30 - 16:39:45 |
4th of July. What a great holiday to celebrate our great country! I've got a fabulous fun filled four-day fourth of July weekend ahead of me (excellent use of alliteration Dave. Why, thank you Dave.). I even got a T-shirt for Sunday nights acoustic show!
The thing that I am looking forward to the most is going to the bank on Monday because I am off of work that day and they have to work. Ha Ha.
Some of you may have read a couple of my past blogs that touch on my frustration with bankers hours. They open late and close early. You're their customer, but they expect you to do business with them on their terms. I don't know how many times I have left my place on Mon morning with plans to deposit some money on the way to work only to find out that it's Presidents Day, or Columbus Day, or "We just took off today for no reason Day". It's just ridiculous. So Monday, since I am the one that is off of work for a change, I am going to go to the bank with my 5 gallon jar of change and have them cash it all for me. While I am waiting for them to finish rolling my pennies and quarters I am going to go on and on about how I am going to spend that cash on something really fun that afternoon. I might even invite everyone that works at the bank. "Hey, you should come with me to (insert really fun place here). It's gonna' be a blast! What's that? Oh, yeah, that's right, you'll still be working. Too bad"
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| Their onto me... | 2006/06/28 - 12:00:10 |
There are 2 cops walking around our office today. I heard that they are looking for someone in the building. The thing is, the turn signals on the Stang aren't exactly what I would call "functional" right now so I haven't signaled for a turn in about 2 weeks. I'm gonna' make an unsignaled left turn out of the parking lot and make my way to Mexico!
Adios Amigo's! andele, andele... |
| Vespas | 2006/06/26 - 12:20:29 |
Lately I have been seeing a lot of people riding around on motor scooters, vespas, etc. Summer is upon us now and gas prices they are a risin'. I understand, but I gotta' be honest. It's darn near impossible for a guy to look cool on those things as opposed to jeeps where you can't help but look cool. "Man, did you see that guy in the jeep?!... so cool."
So, if you are vespa rider I would apologize for hurting your feelings except you're probly a sissy and I'm not too worried about you tracking me down on your peppy little scooter and giving me a good once over. |
| Mexican Candy | 2006/06/23 - 14:03:22 |
Some of you may know of my grand fondness of all Mexican cuisine. Any kind is great whether it be fast (bueno/bell/mayo), tex-mex (chico/abuello's), or even authentic (senor tequila/anywhere around 21st & Garnett)
However, as a rule, in the event that I am offered any kind of candy or sweets from Mexico I graciously decline said offer. Actually, it's more of a policy than a rule.
I mean, you can "bend" or maybe even "break" a rule and people are pretty ok with that, but you never, under any circumstances "break" a policy. If you don't believe me try to order a single chicken mcnugget from McDonalds. They won't do it. It's against their policy. If you only want one mcnugget that's simply too bad. Where do think you are Burger King? You can't get it your way right away here. Now will that be a 6, 12 or 20 piece? |
| either or | 2006/06/21 - 14:00:23 |
Would you rather fall face first into a 12 ft deep pit of piping hot coals after being doused with 5 gallons of gasoline or,
get a paper cut?
Before you answer think back to the last time you got a paper cut.
Yep, that's what I thought. |
| COOL / NOT COOL | 2006/06/20 - 22:33:35 |
Cool: Writing your own blogs.
Not Cool: Watching Mickies house while he's out of town, getting on his computer and write a blog about how cool you are!
Cool: Commenting on one of your buddies blogs.
Not Cool: Getting on Mickies computer and commenting about how cool you are on other peoples blogs!
Cool: Knowing that you are cool without having to give yourself a false sense of hope.
Not Cool:Getting people to think that a cool person thinks that you are cool!
Sorry Dave. You may be tough but you still have a ways to go to be cool! |
| Fishbonz | 2006/06/19 - 10:54:53 |
What a great place. I had an awesome time Friday night! For those of you that happened to see me fall down on stage remember: I didn't fall down on stage. got it? ok good. I think that Chris should just play his acoustic the whole time w/ distortion. We could just set a little campfire on the dance floor in front of the stage and all sing 'Cumbaya' (I don't know how to spell that- phonetical: 'kume-bye-yah')
I also had a great time last night at the acoustic show. Great job Chris!
Viva la Fishbonz! |
| 2006/06/14 - 10:02:39 |
| "Call me crazy, but women voters?" |
| First Pitch | 2006/06/12 - 11:55:00 |
I got to throw out the first pitch at the Driller's game on Saturday evening. Okay, actually it was like the 3rd pitch. There was a 7 yr old kid that won some contest that threw before me as well as the man who was voted "Oklahoma's Dad of the Year".
"Dad of the Year" what a title. Who needs that kind of pressure? Your trying to mow your lawn and all of the other dads are always coming up to you asking for your autograph. You try to take your family to dinner, but every time you leave your house the paparazzi is hounding you so that they can plaster your face all over the front page of their trashy tabloid with a caption that reads something like: "Western Sizzlin' for dinner? Nice job - 'Dad of the Year'".
Before you know it your son is just like every other celebrity kid. He's out partying with Paris Hilton, trashing hotel rooms. Eventually that same tabloid has a cover reading something like: "Son of Dad of the Year checks into drug rehab w/ Olson twins!"
Then there you are, just another bit on the Late Show monologue all because your stupid kid wrote some stupid essay in his stupid 5th grade class about how the fishing trip that you took last year was "soooo fun".
-In case you're wondering, yes I got the ball to the plate. I've got a pretty mean slider. |
| dinner w/ the fam | 2006/06/07 - 09:50:39 |
I went by Chris' house to pick up a couple of things yesterday evening. He was a gracious host and offered me some homemade lasagna (not that frozen crap that my mom makes). I gladly accepted his offer and enjoyed a lovely dinner w/ the fam. (I actually like the frozen lasagna that my mom makes. I just called it "crap" for effect.)
His daughter had some trivia cards and so while I ate, she quizzed Chris w/ the cards. (hyperbole: the use of exaggeration for dramatic effect. ie;'my mom cooks frozen crap') You guys would be suprised at Chris' vast knowledge on a wide range of subjects. He really is quite the renaissance man.
Did you know that 'Clark' of "Lewis & Clark" is his great, great, great, great, great grandpa? |
| "Who is this?" | 2006/06/05 - 14:40:35 |
this is an issue of social/friend politics:
Have you ever been in that awkward position where you get a phone call and the person on the other end of the line doesn't identify themselves? They always speak in such a familiar tone. "Hey buddy, how you been?! It's really great to talk to you. What have you been up to?"
I like to think of it as a game. How fast can I identify who is calling me. The trick to being good at this game is replying w/ your own very vague answers and following up with a direct question. "Yeah, it's just been work, work, work for me. How's your job?"
You never want to ask "Who is this?" That's like hearing GAME OVER. There is no recovery to "Who is this?". "Who is this?! - I can't believe you don't remember me! After all of the conversations we had, all the secrets I told you! I would be worried that you told someone my secrets, but it doesn't sound like you were ever listening in the first place! I was calling to tell you that I quit using heroine because of you, but I guess you don't care. You don't even remember who I am! Goodbye!"
-they throw down the phone run off into a dark alley to get a quick fix and there you are. A would-be hero turned enabler all because you weren't socially graceful enough to just pretend you knew who called you.
|
| Reality Show Idea | 2006/06/01 - 10:09:09 |
It would be sort of like UFC except with animals, and it would be animals that would never meet under normal circumstances due to geographical reasons.
example: Polar Bear (Alaska) vs. Lion (Africa)
Who would win?! I don't know! That's what's so exciting about it! |
| expensive bricks | 2006/05/30 - 13:39:31 |
A few years ago there were some shenanigans up in the northeast. It seems a couple of ne'er do wells got a hold of some Domino's pizza boxes. They would go to various business establishments, bars, and the like. The guys would sell "pizza" to unsuspecting customers. The money exchanged hands and the ne'er do wells were off into the night. The hungry bar patrons would open the box only to find a brick in the box instead of a nice hot fresh pizza pie.
That just makes me really sad, because bricks do not taste as good as pizza. |
| New Sport | 2006/05/25 - 14:06:40 |
Is there a sport where the first one to forget something wins, because I would be the Michael Jordan of such a sport. I would get a gold medal in the "forget-atholon". Of course, I would have to hire an assistant/trainer to help me make it to my "non-memory meets" on time.
I could go... |
| Cell phones vs. horns - Cell phones win! | 2006/05/22 - 14:24:05 |
Someone in my apartment complex needed a ride this morning. I understand, you have car trouble, it happens, it's a bummer. Here's what I don't understand:
How could you pick the most obnoxious person you know to come pick you up for work at 7:30 in the morning?
How do I know that they are the most obnoxious person that you know?
Well, I find very few things as obnoxious as honking your horn to let someone know that you are downstairs to pick them up. It's 2006! Who doesn't have a cell phone?! I mean, why can't you just pull up to the door and give them a ring? I know that the person who needs a ride does. You had to use a phone to call your friend and say "Hey obnoxious friend, can you come over to pick me up for work?"
If you absolutely have no other option than to honk the horn do you really need to honk over and over again? I live across the street and heard the honk just fine the first time.
|
| The invention of the telephone | 2006/05/18 - 09:35:25 |
Alright, alright-I'll tell you how it all went down.
Me and my friend, Red, we call him Red on account of his eyes bein' so bloodshot all the time. Anyhow, it was just Red, me and my blood hound Sketch out there on my father n' law's land lookin for a good spot to drop our lines and relax for the day.
We had just crossed the west field when my friend Red said (when you read that phrase outloud, "friend Red said" does it make you think of that band... 'I'm too sexy for my shirt'? No? Oh, me neither.)
Anyhow Red said "What the s#*t was that, over there by the deerstand?!"
I said "I dunno' let's go check it out"
Sketch said "bark, bark" - translation "okay"
As we started to get closer I got a real strange feelin' in my stomach. I had a hunch that something real special was about to transpire.
Sketch said "bark, bark, bark" - translation "I've got a real strange feelin"
I said "Sketch, I hate to tell you this, but I don't understand a thing you're sayin'. I never have."
Sketch said "bark" - translation "that's because I'm a dog and I bark instead of speaking English"
I said "oh yeah, that's right"
It was right then that a big ol' Bear jumped down from my father n' law's treestand! And that, my friends, is where I got the idea for the telephone. I mean, do you know how much quicker it would have been to just call for help instead of running all the way back to my father n' law's place?
-Al Bell
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| Alternate Paths | 2006/05/12 - 11:08:18 |
Other careers I could pursue:
-Professional Skydiver
-Mime
-Stunt Driver
-Motivational Speaker
-Professional Ping Ponger |
| Puffy Shirt | 2006/05/10 - 13:02:55 |
I was thinking about that Seinfeld episode where George was a hand model for a couple of days before he got burned by an iron (the iron that was used to press the puffy shirt.)
After that I got to thinking about other specialty models. I know of a girl who was an "above the waist" model. That certainly doesn't sound like something to brag about. It sounds like another way of saying "half-hot" model.
Another type of model that came to mind was "plus-size". Hand and leg models can get insurance in case anything were to ever happen (heaven forbid) to their respective body parts. What about plus-size though? Can they get weight loss insurance. What if, from their hectic modeling schedule, they don't have time to eat, thereby lowering their caloric intake to a level that would cause them to lose weight. Before they know it, they are getting turned down for jobs because they are not big enough. The guy that does the hiring is upset "This isn't what your portfolio looks like!" and then the model is forced to find work elsewhere. Of course they could look for normal modeling jobs, but do you know how hard it is to break into that scene?! I've seen "America's Next Top Model" (I didn't want to watch it, my girlfriend made me...and it's not like I REALLY watched it okay. I was reading my muscle car magazine while it happened to be on.) The point is it's no walk in the park to be a high fashion model and if you had a reputation as a premier plus size model these fancy designers wouldn't want to hire you because there is a strong chance that you will just put the weight right back on anyway.
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| Slim Fast Caper....ooooh, a caper! | 2006/05/08 - 16:19:50 |
There is a note in our breakroom that reads:
"Hello, thank you for taking my delicious slim fast out of the refrigerator. As a result, I was forced to eat fast food for breakfast, thereby further accelerating weight gain, heart problems, diabetes, etc... But it doesn't matter to you because all you care about is taking stuff out of the fridge that doesn't belong to you.
thank you,
-me (r.i.p.)"
So I replied:
"Thank you for the slimfast. It was not delicious, but I rather enjoyed the cheesecake that was left in here last week. So thank you to whomever left that little slice of heaven for me. I'm sorry to hear about your diabetes." |
| off to save the world! | 2006/05/05 - 09:23:05 |
| I've got a busy weekend ahead of me. I think that's good. "idle hands...." |
| bathroom etiquette | 2006/05/03 - 12:28:07 |
I was eating lunch at a local fast food establishment this weekend. At one point during the course of my meal I felt the call of nature and made my way to the restroom. Upon entering the facility I found that two people (a boy and his father) were already occupying the room. This particular restroom was furnished w/ the following appliances:
1 bathroom sink (complete w/ paper towel dispenser)
1 toilet (complete w/ toilet paper dispenser)
1 urinal (complete w/ urinal mint for minty freshness, although I wouldn't describe the odor from a urinal as "minty")
0 walls between aforementioned toilet & urinal
-I quickly crunched the numbers and realized that there wasn't enough room in this bathroom for all of us. So, I said "oh, excuse me" and started to make my exit. On my way out the father said "no, come on in"...
I am not going to tell you what happened after that. Instead, I will leave you with the following ethical questions:
1. What should one do in this situation? Should one just stay his course out the door only to deal with an awkward situation when the boy and his father leave the restroom, or should he bite the bullet and step inside to do his business only to deal with an awkward situation inside the restroom?
2. Would you call a bathroom with a urinal and a toilet right next to each other w/o a wall to seperate them a 1 person or 2 person facility?
3. What kind of father asks a complete and total stranger to come into a small room with him and his son and unbutton his pants? |
| Sitcom Idea | 2006/05/01 - 10:43:19 |
An uptight CPA from Boston, MA loses his job as an auditor. The only work he can find is a wait job at a nearby Applebees. There would be the standard comedic element that you could find in any restaurant sitcom, but this one would be different because of the serious dramatic element. You see, the CPA would be conflicted at the end of each shift because he wouldn't be able to decide how much of his tips he should claim!
oooh, wacky slapstick restaurant humor and a deep ethical inner-struggle w/ our protagonist. Combine that w/ a hot actress to play the romantic interest (maybe Jenny McArtney! yeah, she hasn't done much in the last couple of years except write a book, and come on... who is gonna' read her book?) and we've got a hit show on our hands!
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| Frosty's | 2006/04/28 - 12:43:49 |
| Is there anything better than a Frosty? |
| Happy Birthday! | 2006/04/27 - 13:48:22 |
Happy Birthday to Ace Frehley! He is 55 today.
If it weren't for Ace and his friends there may never have been a Band Camp. Whoa, a world without Band Camp. That would have been a tragedy. |
| Professor Hays | 2006/04/25 - 15:41:00 |
I just filled out an evaluation for our intern here at work. She told me not to go too easy on her "but", she added "it is worth like %40 of my grade."
What kind of statement is that?
First of all, I dropped out of college. So how much authority do I really have when it comes to grading someone who has twice as many hours as I do?
Second of all, why should I have to feel responsible for this girl graduating college? What kind of program is it where the teacher says "Hey, go get a job and if your boss says it's okay I'll give you an 'A'!"? Why does a teacher need me to grade his students assignments for him? If anything, I think that the professor is the one who needs a good hard grading. If I were the dean I would give him an 'F' for trying to get someone else to do his work for him.
And C; That intern sucked anyway. So, if I give her an 'F' does that mean that she'll be back in my office next fall so that I can ask her to do things wrong all over again?
ugh, I have enough to worry about w/o having someone here to "help" me. |
| Brantley vs. the Man | 2006/04/22 - 10:15:52 |
Has anyone seen the movie "Secret of My Success" starring Michael J. Fox?
here's the scenario:
Brantley Foster, a well-educated kid from Kansas, has always dreamed of making it big in New York, but once in New York, he learns that jobs - and girls - are hard to get. When Brantley visits his uncle, Howard Prescott, who runs a multi-million-dollar company, he is given a job in the company's mail room. Then Brantley meets Christy Wills, who happens to be one of the top executives. Believing that the best way to win her over is by posing as an executive, Brantley decides to take a position under the name Carlton Whitfield, and soon things get unexpectedly out of hand.
-oooh, I love movies where things get "unexpectedly out of hand"! |
| a great story about a magic button | 2006/04/19 - 10:20:45 |
First, thanks to Robby for sticking around last Fri. night while we waited for the tow truck. Thanks also for giving my gear a loving home for the last few days.
Currently the stang is sitting in the parking lot of my apt complex in pieces. Now I feel like a true resident. She will be back on the road this evening to pick up my stuff from Robby's before he sells it all for crack money.
That's right the Stang is running again and as soon as we get that gas tank back on she'll be right as rain. "Was it the fuel pump like all of the mechanic type people said?" you ask. "No, it was not" I reply. "What was it then?" you querry anxiously.
Long, dramatic pause...
"Well, there is a very interesting feature on the early 90's model Mustangs that every mechanic, tow truck driver, and friend neglected to tell me about."
"What about the guy that sold it to you Dave? Did he tell you about said feature? I mean, he owned the car for about 8 yrs before he sold it to you. You would think that he knew everything that there is to know about that car, or atleast most everything, wouldn't you?"
"Well, he didn't know about this."
"about what?"
"Don't interrupt me while I'm talking! Especially when I'm talking about the Stang!"
"I'm sorry, go on"
"That's ok. Now back to the Stang. No one knew about a small button hidden under a plastic fitting in the very back of the car. This small button is often referred to by the few people that know about it as the 'fuel system kill switch'. I like to call it the 'magic button'.
So, to make a long story just a little longer if it wasn't for my good friend Joe none of us would have ever found this 'kill switch'. After a little over $100 and about 3hrs of my life gone never to return all of my problems with the Stang are solved as the saying goes 'w/ the press of a button'."
"That's a great story Dave"
"I know"
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| MTV Trivia | 2006/04/17 - 14:57:09 |
Name an unsigned band whose video was in regular rotation during the first few months MTV was on the air.
|
| New Side Proj. | 2006/04/13 - 10:04:44 |
I'm thinking of starting a side project. I'm going to rap under the handle "Miracle Whip". But you have to say it like "Miracle Whuiiiip!" and it would have to be spelled something like "Meerikul wipp". Here is a phat rhyme busted just for you Band Camp bloggers.
It's hard on the streets
Not easy bein' a pimp
But it's nice to hear the b***hes yell
"Wasup Meerikul wipp!"
I got some gold in my grill
and a little ice on my wrist
when you hear my flows
go head and give yo' thang a lil' twist
You know I like to watch
the way you shakin' that thang
ya'll sucka's can't keep up
w/ my 92 stang.
-Biatch |
| Sweet Jumps | 2006/04/11 - 14:02:20 |
When I was in 7th grade I wanted to grow up to be a professional BMX biker. I never actually entered a real race. I think that I was hoping to be discovered by an ABA talent scout one day while I was out on some dirt jumps at the creek by my elementary school.
The scene would play out something like this:
It's a slightly over cast day in August and the temperature is about 73 degrees. It's unseasonably cool because of the cold front moving through green country. There have been a couple scattered showers, but the thunderstorm is about an hour and a half away to the Southwest. As fate would have it talent scout, Mike Furreal's Buick does not fare well in the tulsa humidity and it has stalled by a local elementary school.
As Mr. Furreal steps out of the car and surveys his surroundings he notices a creek and thinks to himself "Hmm, a creek. There are always sweet jumps by a creek bed. Maybe there is an extremely talented young rider jumping some of those sweet jumps."
At that point young Promo Dave would soar into the air. It would be like he appeared out of nowhere except there was a creek nearby so he obviously came from one of the sweet jumps.
After a little bit of witty banter between the talent scout and the young BMX phenom a number is agreed upon and a contract is signed, securing young Promo Dave's future as the premier rider of the American Bicycle Assoc.
But alas it was not to be.
-Unfortunately, due to the unseasonably cool weather my mom decided it was a really good day to get some things done in the yard. So, instead the contract was probably given to some jerk that lived around the block. |
| lawyers & birds | 2006/04/07 - 11:22:34 |
I spoke w/ a lawyer today.
After we spoke about the pending case and opposing council he told me about his pets (1 bird named jet, and 1 dog named arnie). He went on for a while about how practicing out of his home made clients feel more comfortable when they came in to meet him. Call me crazy, but I don't think "comfortable" is the word that I would use to describe meeting a lawyer in a house that smells like dogs before you sit down in bird poo to discuss something important like a divorce, criminal charges, or an auto accident.
I don't know maybe it was one of his crazy lawyer mind games. |
| Guns & Knives | 2006/04/03 - 17:45:54 |
The "Wanenmacher's Tulsa Arms Show" was this past weekend at the Expo Square. For people like you and me that doesn't mean a lot, but to gun enthusiasts (a sort of which there are many in this region of our great country) this is like the day after Thanksgiving combined with a trip through the National Archive. To give you an idea of what kind of patrons you would find at an event like this, there is a sign at the front door that reads "Free entry w/ membership of IRA".
I was scheduled to be there for an appearance with KMOD. One of the things involved in any station event is putting up the sound system so that everyone can hear the radio. It only makes sense, as we are a radio station.
You would think that Freebird playing at a gun show would be appropriate, but you would be sorely mistaken, as I was, in making that assumption.
One of the exhibitors pulled a knife on me and told me that if I didn't "turn that s#*t off" he would help me to do so by cutting the speaker wire himself. So, I kindly obliged and escaped the appearance without incident.
Normally, I would have regulated on the busta' and pulled the knife from his hand. Then I would have chopped off both of his ears and said "There now the music shouldn't bother you." But, like I said, it was a station event and I was working.
That gun toting, knife pulling lunatic got lucky this time, but he better be careful if he ever crosses my path again. |
| Big Mad Morning Show - 1st anniversary Party tonight! | 2006/03/31 - 08:44:01 |
Big Mad Morning 1st Anniversary tonight! Jager, jager, jager! Fun, fun, fun!
We were on the morning show today. We got some really great responses from the listeners!
Here are some of the comments that we got:
"Man, you guys are awesome. I can't wait for tonight!"
"That was like the best 'Gin & Juice' I ever heard in like the history of my whole life!"
"I went to see Motley Crue last night, and those second rate chumps have got nothing on Band Camp!"
-hope to see you there tonight!
|
| Worse than George Thorogood | 2006/03/27 - 10:58:10 |
You know who I don't like?
Molly Hatchet, that's who. |
| on hold | 2006/03/24 - 10:40:36 |
Here I sit on hold
"just a moment" I am told
but still I wait,
in a restless state
Knowing that I won't hear a human voice
till I am gray and old |
| Guitarmegeddon/Karate Kid | 2006/03/22 - 10:26:50 |
Last night I judged a guitar contest at Guitar Center. As the contest was about to start, it reminded me of the end of Karate Kid when the tournament is getting underway.
You know, you've got your Cobra Kei characters w/ the confident swagger staring down the new competition as if to say "Ha! You don't stand a chance. Our Sensei at the dojo has trained us to show no mercy. The enemy deserves no mercy!"
And then there's the new young guy (Danielson) who doesn't even have a guitar strap (belt) so he has to just figure something out w/ Mr. Miyagi. Yeah, that's the one you're really pulling for.
As I was thinking about all this I leaned over to one of the contestants (a young guy) and I said "It's kind of like the tournament in Karate Kid". To which he replied "What's that?"
Maybe the guitar contest has nothing to do w/ Karate Kid, but I gave him zero's in every category anyway.
-on a side note: One of the guys did the "crane stance" before he started his song. Coincidentally, ("or maybe not so coincidentally" said the judge) he was selected to go onto the next round. |
| $UI\l[)/\Y | 2006/03/19 - 12:24:58 |
Hmm, Sunday.
I have never written a blog on a Sunday before. I am usually not in my office on Sundays, but today I have a station event to go to.
As I sit here in front of my computer I realize that I have nothing of interest to say (I know, "What makes this different than any other blog Dave?" -well hardy freakin' har. You're very funny. Maybe you should get a website and start your own blog so that you can be compelling and entertaining every time you sit down in front of your computer.)
Geez, where did that come from?
Have you ever pulled up to a keypad, like for instance at a gated apartment complex or an ATM or something, and when you roll down your window you forget what you're doing and just stare at the numbers like a zombie? That's kind of what happened a couple of lines into this blog. Who am I kidding, that's kind of what it's like for me all of the time. |
| the SuperBowl of drinking | 2006/03/17 - 13:10:34 |
| Happy St. Patricks Day to all and to all a good night! |
| college | 2006/03/16 - 13:59:14 |
I didn't go to college. Well, I went, but I didn't graduate. Well, I didn't really go all that much, but I was enrolled.
Sometimes I think about going back so that I might one day have a job where I am issued business cards to hand out to aquaintances that would never be interested in me or my business and say "here's my card"
man, business cards are sweet. |
| Hand Stamp | 2006/03/13 - 11:17:25 |
We played at Gray Snail on Fri. night. I got a stamp on my hand when I went out to my car to get something and it's still there. I have washed my hands countless times over the weekend and I can't get it off of there. I feel like Kramer in that episode where he didn't wash his hands so that he could keep going to the Reggae Lounge. Except I did wash my hands, and I didn't get my stamp from the Reggae Lounge... and I'm not on a TV show.
So, I guess it's not really the same thing. |
| Keyboards are for typing - Oatmeal is for eating | 2006/03/09 - 12:28:22 |
I have oatmeal in my keyboard. Do you have any idea how embarrasing it is for someone to say "Hey, have you seen this cool and funny new video?" To which you reply "Why, no, no I have not seen that cool and funny new video". Then they say "Well, let me hop onto your very smart computer and show it to you!" Then you say something like "Great, I am very excited and anxious to see this cool and funny new video on my very smart computer!"
"Eeewww!, is this oatmeal?!"
"uhh, no"
"Yes it is! You have oatmeal in your computer!"
"no I don't"
"Not only are you a very messy eater, but also a terrible liar, and a stupid friend"
"OK, I had a cereal bar this morning"
"I thought so"
"Yeah, sorry. So how bout' that cool and funny video?"
No reply.
Your former friend walks out the room with an angry face and oatmeally hands, never to return. You are left with only the burning desire of something that will never be...
that's right, the cool and funny new video.
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| Pixies & Fairy Dust | 2006/03/08 - 10:27:05 |
Hello all,
I hope that everyone is having a good day. I hope that you woke up to sounds of spring - birds chirphing, sprinklers watering lawns, the breeze gently tapping wind chimes together. Yes, it's the kind of day that makes you just want to go out and do something nice for somebody.
I was told that my last blog was a little "harsh". |
| Vault it | 2006/03/06 - 18:01:18 |
If told a friend a secret, well okay it wasn't a "secret" persay, because you didn't say to him "don't tell ______" but it was something that one -especially one who is close enough to tell something that could be percieved as a secret- should have enough discretion to keep to one's self, wouldn't you be upset if that friend disclosed said secret/piece of information/sliver of truth to ______?
yeah, me too |
| Ford Focus | 2006/03/03 - 15:32:03 |
A Ford Focus IS NOT the same thing as a Dodge Charger.
One is red the other is black.
One is good the other is crap.
One is gone the other is in the parking lot.
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| All good things... | 2006/03/02 - 12:15:44 |
Well, the week is almost up. The theme to Chris's blog is that we always look forward to tomorrow instead of enjoying today. I am not looking forward to tomorrow because I have to return the Charger. For those of you that don't know, the Charger is the rental car that I got after my wreck last week.
I won't go into the details, but tomorrow it's "goodbye Charger, hello Ford Focus"
I suppose it's better this way. If I would have been able to drive the Charger until I bought another car I would have been completely spoiled. Now I will be excited to get into whatever car I end up buying.
I don't mean to hate on the Focus for anyone out there that drives one. But come on, you can hold the Focus in the highest regard and a Dodge Charger it will never be. |
| Saying goodbye is hard, and so is drinking upside down. | 2006/02/27 - 14:20:39 |
Good time Fri night. I didn't fall down in the parking lot once!
It's sad to see Andy go. I found out that my car is in fact, totalled, so it's sad to see my car go too. But, it's sadder to see Andy go. Well, I don't know, I've known the car longer than I've known Andy. |
| fallen brother | 2006/02/22 - 17:00:45 |
There has been some talk around the blog pages about me falling down a lot on Sat. night. I ended up getting a ride home that night and my gear stayed the weekend at Andy's. (Andy, thanks for letting my gear stay over)
Yesterday evening I went to pick it up and on the way home I got rear-ended by a mini van!
Not to worry, I'm okay, but it may be the end of my friend the green Nissan. So, if you could, just observe a moment of silence for our fallen brother as you read this blog. He transported me safely to a great deal of Band Camp shows and practices and for that, I will never forget him.
If however, the car can be fixed, you can take your moment of silence back by yelling at the computer... or at the green Nissan after it's fixed. |
| Subway Scratch Cards | 2006/02/21 - 10:41:58 |
I went to Subway yesterday to have the daily special. (Turkey & Ham, and no, you can not get just a turkey sandwich w/o the ham. I don't know why they can't just act like they forgot the ham or whatever and give you the daily special price, but I have tried to persuade them to do so on several occasions w/ no success. The Subway Sandwich Artists must have taken an oath stating that "under no circumstances will they compromise the integrity of the daily special menu". So if you just want a turkey sandwich, wait until Wednesday.)
Back to scratch cards
If you have been to Subway sometime in the past month and a half they probably gave you a scratch card. Normally, I think scratch cards are a lot of fun because you can sratch them with a coin or your keys and it kind of makes you feel like Indiana Jones uncovering some code to get out of the temple of doom, but these particular scratch cards are different. I mean, you still get to feel like Indiana and sratch the silver to reveal the secret code, but the other appealing aspect of a scratch card is that you could be an "instant" winner. With the Subway scratch cards however, you have to wait until you get back to work after lunch to go online to find out if you are an "instant" winner. To me, waiting twenty minutes to find out if one is indeed a "winner" does not make one an "instant winner" at all. So, I usually just throw mine away with the rest of my trash.
Yesterday, I got a wild hair and decided to keep my scratch card and find out if I was a not-so instant winner. I woke up bright and early this morning, put on my lucky t-shirt and off to work I went. I got to work, sat down at my desk and logged onto the website only to learn that the promotion had ended two days ago.
So, FYI-
the Subway Scratch Card Promotion is over
Daily Special Menu:
mon- turkey & ham (wether you want it or not)
tue- meatball
wed- turkey w/o ham (and no, you can not add ham)
thu- Italian BMT (Do you know what "B-M-T" stands for?)
fri- tuna
sat- roast beef
sun- chicken breast |
| Elephant Run | 2006/02/20 - 12:05:17 |
| Good times this weekend. Thanks to PJ for driving me home! |
| Band Camp | 2006/02/17 - 14:06:15 |
I hope that you're all ready for a heavy dosage of back 2 back Band Camp krunkness this weekend! That's right 2 consecutive nights of pure unadulterated jager drinking... yep, 2 nights in a row. One right after the other.
I hope that you're all ready for a heavy dosage of back 2 back Band Camp krunkness this weekend! That's right 2 consecutive nights of pure unadulterated jager drinking... yep, 2 nights in a row. One right after the other.
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| harmonica and guitar | 2006/02/16 - 09:19:26 |
I saw this guy named Nate Marsh the other night at Bourbon St. He was one of these guys that played guitar and sang w/ the harmonica around his neck so that he could bust out a mean solo whenever he felt so inclined.
Nate Marsh is really talented. I enjoyed his folky renditions of "Walk this Way - Aerosmith" and "Badfish - Sublime" so much that I didn't even notice how long I was having to wait for my food.
If you're going out to dinner and you happen to notice Nate Marsh in the Urban Tulsa I would highly recommend him. Unless, of course, you are Chris or Andy.
I didn't hear any folky renditions of Iron Maiden or Kiss songs. |
| TV | 2006/02/14 - 09:30:16 |
I don't watch much TV.
As I was wandering, in an electronic sense - not in the physical, through our website I noticed that it said that I had "nothing interesting to say about TV". I would like to take this opportunity to dispell that nasty rumor. The notion that I am uninteresting on any topic is absolutely ludicrous! (in the literal sense - not the hip-hop)
In my estimation, anyone that can talk/write about TV at great length is the one that "has nothing interesting to say". (in the blogging sense - not the useless bits of trivia sense)
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| the Greatest Game | 2006/02/06 - 16:47:43 |
I love the Superbowl.
I ate chili dogs and cake and these other little snacks that I never heard a name for. They were little pieces of rye toast w/ a spread that consisted of spicy sausage and cheese. My, my, quite tasty, quite tasty indeed. If you ever go out to see the band RPM (& I would recommend that you do) ask the singer, Paul if he can get the recipe for you. I promise, you will not be dissapointed... w/ the sausage things or the band.
I went on to another friends house. He had been smoking ribs. I had no idea that he had such a talent for BBQ, but he truly does. The meat was so tender and juicy. I hardly wanted to use any Sauce. His wife is rather skilled at baking brownies.
If I were to be honest, I don't think that I actually saw one play of the game. I mean, every once and a while I would hear the people in the room give a collective "OOOOh!!!" or "Yeahh!" and I would look up from my plate in time to catch a replay, but other than that I didn't really catch (hah, sports pun) any of the game. For me it was about the grindage (hah, Encino Man referance). Yesterday was the SuperBowl... of eating (hah, there isn't really such a thing as a "Super Bowl of eating").
GO STEELERS! |
| KMOD | 2006/01/25 - 11:55:52 |
KMOD is in the process of developing a new feature on Friday nights. From midnight to 1am you can join our friend Lynn Hernandez in a musical adventure back to the 80's. It will be a full hour of all of your favorites by Poison, AC/DC, and dare I say...Iron Maiden! (That's right Andy, Iron Maiden!)
This show can't go on the air without a proper name. That's where you come in. Please post suggestions for names and if you post one that the guys at KMOD like, they may just use your name!... well, not your name, I mean we can't have a radio show named "Todd".
Try to use the station name, a phrase from that era of music, and above all make it sound snappy!
An example would be something like; "The KMOD Butt Rock Rendezvous"
Please reply! |
| President | 2006/01/24 - 14:18:43 |
If I were president I would make my birthday a national holiday in honor of myself (& Chris).
I would start a policy of all things staying open that are normally closed on days like Columbus day. Everyone would be off that day except bankers and government employees (w/ exception to me, I mean you can't expect me to work on my own national holiday.)
I think that would be great. Not only would I be president, but I would get to take the day off... and deposit money at the bank if I so chose.
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| Cobra | 2006/01/16 - 12:28:30 |
Sylvester Stallone plays a rogue cop that plays by his own rules. Cobra, a.k.a. Marion Cobretti, is a member of the "Zombee Squad". That's the group that handle's the jobs that no one else wants.
They handle jobs like taking out maniacs holding a grocery store hostage, jobs like driving their hot rod backwards in chase scene in order to get a better shot at the bad guys, jobs like spending the night in a hotel room w/ Brigitte Nielsen the night before a long day of shooting henchman on motorcycles.
There is none tougher than Cobra. |
| Presidents of the United States | 2006/01/10 - 10:20:20 |
movin' to the country gonna' eat me alotta' peaches
movin' to the country gonna' eat me alotta' peaches...
Peaches come in a can
They were put there by a man
in a factory downtownnn... |
| Happy New Year! | 2006/01/03 - 11:44:50 |
Ah yes, the beginning of another year. The promise of new starts, clean beginnings, and fresh slates. A time to reflect on the mistakes and missed opportunities of the previous 12 months and the flush them down the metaphorical toilet of your mind. I hope that all you have set high goals and and great resolutions for this upcoming year. Here are a few of mine.
1. No more cussing, unless it is absolutely warranted. Otherwise you are just trivializing something that could be a very big deal.
2. No more drinking, unless it is in a social situation ie; playing w/ Band Camp, hanging out w/ friends, or sitting at home alone.
3. No more setting goals too high, or expectations too lofty, or standards too standardy. |
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| Dave' Links |
| 92.1 the BEAT |
| Brett's Blog |
| RPM |
| Strongbad Email |
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| Dave' Bio |
| Born Where? |
| Tulsa, OK |
| Influences? |
| The Incredible Hulk, Mr. Incredible, and the Incredible Pizza Co. |
| Fave Band/Artist? |
| RPM |
| Started Playing at What Age? |
| 15 |
| Hobbies? |
| going to the driving range and trying to hit that little golf cart that drives around picking up the balls |
| Pet Peeves? |
| those car alarms that are set way too sensitive, so they go off every time someone parks, sneezes, or farts next to it...and I'm in my apartment trying to sleep, but I can't cause that stupid "beep - beep, whoop - whoop..." alarm keeps going off. |
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